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The scam of colon cleansers, colonics, and zapping your rear with electricity

Sh*t.

It happens.

And it *really* happens when all those scammers want to part you from your hard-earned money by trying to sell you on colon cleansers!

To this day, I simply cannot believe how marketers have managed to get an entire population segment to believe that what works perfectly fine (their bowels) really need an artificial boost to "cleanse out the ickness" that resides there.

It truly staggers the mind!

For example, consider the excruciating joys of mucoid plaque, supposedly the ickness that currently resides in your bowels.

Or should I say, the junk that colon cleansers actually produce in your body (note!  it wasn’t there BEFORE you took that cleanser) that gets plopped out and you say, Jeepers my gosh, it must work!

Don’t believe me?  Take a gander at:

• Mucoid Plaque - a dubious idea

and I quote:

(imagine really gross picture here) … Have you ever expelled something that looked like this?  Well, you haven’t, unless you have been using bowel cleansing products. It’s called mucoid plaque, and it’s only found in users of bowel cleansing products, not in normal people…..MORE….

Blech.

Let’s be a weee bit serious here folks.  The only way you can "lose weight" by doing a colon cleanse (and think about it - those two innocent words. "Colon."  "Cleanse") is because you plop out the current contents of your last chomped-upon foods.

Guess what will happen when you eat again?  Yep, that weight will just come back (because you just ate it!).

Here are 2 more useful resources to learn more about why you DON’T want to throw out your money:

• Colon Cleansing And Colonic Irrigation Scams Exposed…
• Colon Cleanse Product Scam

Now, let’s say that for some strange inexplicable reason, you feel like you’re more constipated than a black hole and reeeeeallly want relief.  That’s why the gods made enemas….a Fleet enema will cost you less than a dollar from your local grocery store and help will be on the way.

However, the makers of colon cleansers certainly don’t make money from that common-sense solution (which is why you never see something so simple advertised).

Such is life.

Unfortunately, colon cleansing is Big Business with a capital B - just look at what’s available on eBay today.

Depressing indeed.  At the time of this writing, there was over 960 items for sale. 

Of course, you could do what John Harvey Kellogg recommended in his runaway best seller back in 1915, Colon Hygiene on page 68 and 69:

Electricity:  This powerful agent may be applied in such a way as greatly to stimulate intestinal activity.  The most effective method is the application of the sinusoidal current to the rectum and abdominal muscles, or to the rectum and the central portion of the back.  Another very effective method which will be talked about 93 years from now on the Internet when folks wonder how people actually bought these bizarre ideas, perhaps the most efficient of all methods, is the application of a bi-polar electrode to the inner surface of the pelvic colon, which is the point of greatest delay in the majority of constipated persons.

My innards.  They quiver at the idea of them being introduced to electricity.  Really.

But I digress. 

Anywhos, that’s the headsup for today!  If you have an insane urge to cleanse your colon, drink lots of water, take psyllium seeds and fiber, or at the most extreme, get a Fleet enema like the below.

Your bank account will thank you.

Enjoy,

Barbara Ling.

ps - looking for other diet related thingees?  Check out:

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2 Comments

1. Crabby McSlacker (1 comments.) on 23.03.2009 at 09:59 (Reply)

   Too funny!

   I have never understood people’s attraction to these products. Unless we’re talking about punctuation, I really have no desire to think about colons. Yet people seem fascinated by the whole notion that they could have a “clean” colon. C’mon, poop lives there! How clean could it ever be?

   I guess the idea of taking some magic potion and flushing out mysterious toxic “bad things” is a lot more appealing than losing weight by eating less and exercisisng. But still. I can’t believe these products are so popular.

   1. admin on 24.03.2009 at 01:39 (Reply)

      I completely agree! It astounds me that folks consider a colon could ever be “clean”.
      Thanks for stopping by! Barbara

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